“Wrote My Way Out” is a song from the musical Hamilton. It is a song reflecting on why Hamilton wrote so much during his short life. The premise of the song is Hamilton used his writing to write his way out of difficult situations.
This is also why I write.
I have been journaling since a young age. Writing has been a way for me to process and pray. Writing allows me time and space to navigate my feelings, thoughts, and circumstances. Writing also allows me to craft, erase, amend, and proof before sharing beyond myself!
As someone who lives with mental health struggles, writing has been a way for me to write my way out of the darkness of depression and the unsettledness of anxiety! I write my way out, out of despair, out of isolation, out of loneliness, out of the thoughts swirling in my head, out of overwhelming emotions, out of confusion, out of my own way…
This process is not new or just for me. Writing down words on paper or screen has been a way to process and communicate far before me. Words are powerful for and to individuals and communities.
As a woman in ministry, I follow a long line of women who have shared deeply through their words.
Women like Lottie Moon who became well known, not just for her missionary work, but for her bold letters to denominational leaders and publications.
Women like Nannie Helen Burroughs who wrote about issues of race, gender, and access to education.
Women like Carolyn Blevins, a Baptist professor and historian who wrote to tell the stories of Baptist women.
Women like Beth Allison Barr, Jen Hatmaker, Cole Authur Riley, Sarah Beasley, and the list could go on and on.
When women cannot preach or have access to opportunities to share our perspectives, and even we can but are not given as many opportunities, we still have things to say, we still have words to share, and writing is a way we can do that. And now thanks to the medium of social media (for better or worse), we have an outlet that is always open.
Now, this does not mean I write down everything or share everything on online. However, I cannot reflect on why I write and share without reflecting on my womanhood and the ways women have been silenced. Therefore, I write for myself, and I share in hope to build awareness, community and advocate for others.
This is a poem I wrote last week after a flight.
I am a woman on a plane.
I am a 6 foot tall plus size woman on a plane.
I am mindful of the space I take up.
I make myself as small as possible in the seat, gathering my arms and legs in as close to the aisle as I can.
I am a woman on a plane sitting beside a man who is half my size.
I am a woman who feels an elbow in my side for the entire flight.
I am a woman who holds to the armrest seeking any space available away from a man’s leg that overflows into the leg space on both sides of him.
I am a woman who has been taught her whole life to make room for others, sitting beside a man who must have been taught his whole life to take as much space for himself as he wants.
I am a woman on a plane struggling with physical space who cannot help but ponder space and gender on a deeper level.
I am a woman on a plane wondering why I always feel the need to shrink for others.
I am a woman on a plane wondering if people notice how much I shrink to make room for them.
I am a woman on a plane pondering why some of us are taught to shrink while some of us are taught to expand.
I am a woman on a plane wondering what to do.
Do I stay seated uncomfortably tightened into the smallest self I can be?
Do I make myself and force people to make room for me?
Do I seek to find a compromise between space for myself and space for others?
I am a woman on a plane reminded that I am a woman, always a woman, always carrying the burden of leaning into myself while navigating a seat, a plane, a world that was not built for me to be comfortable, not made for me to easily just sit and be me.
I am a woman on a plane.
I am a woman.
Rev. Dr. Sarah E. Boberg
Assistant Professor for Christian Education
Director of Empowering Families for Spiritual Formation
Campbell University Divinity School