Words Matter: Let’s Change the Conversation
“Words don’t just describe culture. Words create culture.”
What if the words we use in our churches are creating barriers instead of opening doors? What if something said as a joke, a compliment, or even a well-intentioned observation is actually diminishing someone’s calling?
Baptist Women in Ministry of North Carolina invites churches to consider these questions through our video, “Things You Would Never Say to a Man.”
The video is rooted in the real experiences of women serving in ministry right here in North Carolina. These are things women have actually heard: comments about their appearance, their families, their leadership, their abilities, and even their calling from God.
Some of the statements may make you laugh in disbelief. Others may make you uncomfortable. And some may cause you to recognize words you have heard, or perhaps even spoken, yourself.
That's precisely why we created this resource.
Words matter. They can affirm someone's calling or cause them to question it. They can communicate belonging or reinforce the message that someone doesn't quite fit. They can open doors or quietly close them.
And often, the most damaging words are spoken without any intention of causing harm.
Our hope is not to shame anyone, but to start conversations that help churches become more aware of how language shapes congregational culture. If we believe that God calls women and men to ministry, then our words should reflect that belief.
To help churches move from watching to meaningful conversation, BWIM NC has created two accompanying discussion guides:
General Discussion Guide: Designed for Sunday School classes, small groups, ministry teams, and congregational gatherings.
Church Leadership Discussion Guide: Created specifically for pastors, deacons, search committees, personnel committees, and others who help shape the culture of a congregation.
We encourage churches to watch the video together, use the discussion guides, and make room for honest, sometimes uncomfortable, but necessary conversations.
Because creating a culture that truly welcomes and affirms women in ministry requires more than simply saying we support them. It requires paying attention to the everyday words, assumptions, and attitudes that communicate whether that support is real.
At BWIM NC, our mission is to support, advocate for, connect, and educate women and their allies as we honor and affirm God's call to women in all areas of ministry.
And sometimes, that work begins with something as simple—and as powerful—as changing the way we speak.
Watch the video. Start the conversation. Change the culture.
Because the words we choose today help shape the church we become tomorrow.